


You Stole My Line!

by pherryt



Category: Doctor Who, Supernatural
Genre: 12.05 Coda, 6.04 Coda, 6.08 Coda, DW 6.08 Coda, F/M, Hitler, Love Confessions, M/M, SPN 12.05 Coda, SPN 6.04 Coda, Season 12 spoilers, Sfb, a silly coda, but i found this crossover idea too funny not to do, but it's in the works, but just the one, cause i couldn't help it, dean and sam meet the doctor for the first time, i think i'm stuck on these guys, multiple CODAs, pre destiel - Freeform, some strong language, this is probably not the way Codas work, with some heartwarming stuff at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 01:12:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8556898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pherryt/pseuds/pherryt
Summary: A series of Codas for 3 different episodes intertwining between Supernatural and Doctor Who....
Because really, Dean's gonna brag about killing Hitler, and that's going to make some people a little jealous...you know who I'm talking about right?
And then in the end, it helps Dean open up a little bit more...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is probably not the way CODA's are supposed to work. I've never seen a fic with multiple CODA's, much less a crossover Coda. But seriously.
> 
> Doctor Who episode titled "Let's Kill Hitler" where they don't, in fact, kill Hitler, much to quite a few people's dismay.  
> Supernatural episode titled "The One You've Been Waiting For." where they do, in fact, actually succeed.
> 
> How could I *not* combine them????

It had been a weird and crazy day, and Dean was tossing back a few pints at the local pub in…wherever the hell it was they were. Hell, if he and Sam were going to head over to the other side of the world to help Bobby get his soul back from Crowley, the least he could do was see some sights, sample the wares before they left.  And boy, these were some wares he was sampling.

“This seat taken?” A dark haired woman sat down between Dean and Sam without waiting for acknowledgement. Dean’s brow raised as he looked her up and down before sending a smirk towards his brother.

“Guess it is now.” He winked and Sam rolled his eyes. “Name’s Dean, that’s my brother Sam.”

“You two aren’t from ‘round here, are you now? You can call me Mels.” She snaked a hand down the bar and grabbed Dean’s pint and drained the glass, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Hey, I was drinking that.” He protested.

“And now you aren’t. You’re welcome.” She beamed at him. “Hey, you boys wanna help me with something?”

Dean snorted and ordered another pint. “Right, like what? Chat up some tourists, see if they can be taken for a ride? Sorry sweetheart, we’re leaving tomorrow. We don’t have time to be one of your marks. Now, beat it.” She frowned at him.

“You’re not a mark. Someone else is, and I need a ride. But since you’re not interested, I’ll find another way back to Leadworth.”

“Leadworth? Isn’t that, like, 9 hours from here?” Sam finally chimed in.

“Well, well, well, looks like someone did their homework before they went a touring. Or maybe you swallowed google maps.” Mels swiveled on the stool and got right up into Sam’s face as if looking into his eyes would give her the answer to that. Dean was starting to get a very odd feeling about her. He made a motion with his head, caught his brothers eye and raised a brow in question. Sam nodded. Time to split.

* * * * * *

Dean and Sam caught the Angel Airways back to the states and thought no more of the strange girl named Mels. She certainly forgot about them. She had more important things to do. Such as killing Hitler. And the Doctor. She had a to do list.

For that matter, so did they. Looked like they’d been able to scratch getting Bobby’s soul back off the list. Now if Dean could only figure out what was going on with his brother, and who had brought him and his grandfather back to life and why Cas was being so cagey lately, that would be lovely.

_His_ to do list was growing bigger by the day. But that was just a day in the life of a Winchester. Situation Normal, _Always_ Fucked Up.

* * * * * *

Sam wiped Ruby’s knife off on his jacket. The jacket was already covered in blood; a few more spots wouldn’t make much of a difference. Dean glowered at the man that had nearly gotten in his way.

“Now, now, is that any way to treat a friend?”

“You’re not my friend, pal.” Dean growled at the man. The other man was English maybe? With a ridiculously long scarf. “And you almost got us killed.”

“Look, I was tracking an inter-dimensional apparition – “

“Yeah, that would be a ghost. And you’re in the wrong place for that, because _that_ was a demon.”

“A demon? Oh psh…no such thing.”

“What did you think the black smoke was? Internal spontaneous combustion?”

“Well now, that has some possibilities, but no. I’m telling you, I’m _absolutely_ positive that was an inter-dimensional apparition. Furthermore, it was possessing that young man - which you killed by the way, completely unnecessary.”

“It became necessary when you endangered our lives _and_ your own by barging in here and breaking the salt lines.” Sam noted. “Usually, we try to exorcise them. Trust us, it’s kind of our thing.” Then Sam turned around to Dean, “And Dean, he’s not actually wrong. If you think about it, Hell is sort of an adjacent dimension, and demons are can non-corporeal till they can possess somebody. Ghosts do the same thing, neither needing permission either, so…” Sam trailed off and Dean raised his hands in surrender, while muttering.

“Whatever. I need a fucking drink.”

And that’s how Sam and Dean met the Doctor and hitched a ride in the TARDIS. Dean wasn’t sure if that counted as flying or not. The Doctor insisted that while the TARDIS could function quite easily as a space ship, he often used her more as a Time Machine, and in that case, she wasn’t actually flying. “Think of it more like the TARDIS, when she travels through Time, is manipulating the universe around us and she’s actually staying quite still. No flying at all. You never feel a thing.”

Dean still didn’t trust it. Sorry. Her.

* * * * * *

Dean Winchester still couldn’t believe he’d killed Hitler. He couldn’t stop grinning about it either. I mean, it wasn’t every day you killed Hitler. Sure, he’d killed other evil things over the years, but ghosts, ghouls, vampires, wendigos, even demons these days, those were a dime a dozen. There was only one Hitler. And he killed him. Him. Dean Winchester. Killed Hitler.

He’d changed his mind. _That’s_ what he wanted on his tombstone. “I Killed Hitler.”

He strode into the bunker still grinning, Sam pulling up the rear, and that’s when he saw it. It’d been a while, but he would recognize that blue police box anywhere. Especially since it hadn’t been in the map room when they’d left. Which only meant one thing…

The Doctor.

Dean groaned and resumed his descent down the stairs in a noisy fashion. He didn’t care if he was being annoying. In fact, he kind of hoped he was.

He wasn’t letting the sudden appearance of the Doctor ruin his good mood. Strangely, though the TARDIS sat nice and sedately out of the way in a corner of the room, there was no sign of the Doctor. This made both Dean _and_ Sam more than a little wary.

Pulling out their guns, they started making their way, room by room. Dean checked the kitchen first while Sam edged towards the library. It was in the library that they found a gangly man with a bow tie and a woman with blond, crazy curly hair. His feet were propped up on the table as he flipped through the books Sam had left out while she was checking out some of the Men of Letters decorations.  Like the blade Dean had cut himself on when they first moved in.

At the sound of footsteps, she turned and he leaped up from the table. “Dean!” Sam shouted, not lowering his gun. He recognized neither of these people. Dean was at his side an instant, just as the man started to talk.

“Hullo, Hullo! Been a while, hasn’t it, eh Dean? Sam?” The man beamed at them and rocked on his feet as he shoved his hands into his pockets. The woman moved to his side.

“Who the hell are you?” Sam gritted out.

“Oy, I thought you already knew that.” The bow tied man looked disappointed, his hands coming out of his pockets as he turned to face the woman. “This is Sam and Dean Winchester, Hunters Extraordinaire.”

“Yes, you’ve mentioned. Actually, it’s a little hazy, been a while for me, but I think I’ve met them before as well.”

“Look lady, I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know who he is either, so why don’t we get some names?”

“That’s the Doctor,” The man in question did a playful salute in acknowledgement, “and I’m River Song, but back when we met, I was going by the name Mels.”

Sam and Dean blinked. They had indeed met a man called the Doctor before, and it was his TARDIS parked in the next room, after all, so it must be him. And yes, Dean thought he could remember a Mels…

“Scotland? About 6 years back?” Dean didn’t take his eyes of either of them, nor his finger off the trigger as he stayed at the ready.

“Well, it was more than 6 years for me, but, essentially, yes.”

“What are you, shapechangers? Skinwalkers? Why do you look different?” Sam called out.

“We’re neither. Boys, we’re not of this Earth. Technically. Alien, in fact.” River explained. The brothers lowered their guns in their astonishment.

“Well, fuck me.” Dean breathed. “Fucking aliens now? Monsters, Demons, Angels, then Fairies and now Aliens? What is this world coming to?”

“Prove it.” Sam said. The man claiming to be the Doctor raised both of his eyebrows in surprise and confusion.

“How?” the Doctor asked. Sam reached for his jacket and pulled out a silver knife and handed it to the other man.

“Cut yourselves with that. If you react, we’ll know, and if you don’t react…” Sam started.

“Then we still know.” Dean finished for him.

* * * * * *

Hours later and Dean and River were having a drinking contest while Sam and the Doctor were arguing about the answer to Life, the Universe and Everything.

“42.” The Doctor said while Sam shook his head.

“No man, I’m serious….you’ve lived through so much, traveled all throughout time and space, you’re like, a thousand years old, surely you know the answer?”

“I stand by 42. It’s the simplest answer.”

“But there’s not even a proper question to go with it. It’s not even a proper answer. That’s the line from some dumb book Dean’s always rambling about.”

“Is your brother really arguing with the Doctor about the answer to life?” River snickered. “Cause that man there, will never give you a straight answer.”

“Who even cares, man, who needs the answer to the universe, when you fucking killed Hitler!” Dean snickered and took another swig of his beer. River’s head whipped back from watching her husband and the other Winchester going at it – they might have been a little bit drunk as well – to stare at Dean in a mix of disbelief and horror.

“You stole my gig?”

“Sister, I got no idea what you’re talking about.” Dean swayed in his seat.

“I’ll tell you what I’m talking about. I’m talking about going back in time with the Doctor and my parents –  but they didn’t know they were my parents then – and me trying to kill Hitler. I was stopped, by the way, by that man over there who wouldn’t let me tamper with history. And you’re telling me, you crossed an item off my _bucket list?”_

“Uh…yeah, I guess?” Dean blinked. “You tried to kill Hitler?”

“Yes, I tried to kill Hitler. I hijacked the TARDIS with the Doc and my parents inside and everything. How did _you_ actually kill Hitler? Do you have a vortex manipulator?”

“A what now? I don’t even know what you’re _talking_ about.” Dean took another swig of his bear to fortify himself for the whiplash he sensed coming. “Look, everyone thought Hitler died at the end of the war, right? But a secret society of Necromancers saved his soul, slipped it into a pocket watch and promptly lost it. They’ve been searching for it ever since and when they _found_ it a couple days ago…Boom! They resurrected him. So I killed him.”

River pouted as she listened to the hunters very simple story. “But _I_ wanted to kill Hitler,” she sighed. She looked around for something and finally shrugged, slipping off a shoe before throwing it at the Doctors head.

“Hey! What was that for?” he rubbed at the back of his head as Dean snickered and Sam just stared.

“That’s for not letting me kill Hitler when I had the chance.”

“Oh, c’mon now, you’re not still sore about _that_ are you? It would have changed human history. It was a fixed point in time. Yes, he was a despicable man, but there are somethings we aren’t meant to tamper with. You, as a now experienced Time Traveler yourself, should know that!”

“I also know that you yourself have subverted other ‘fixed points’ in time before. Like your inevitable death.”

“At your hands. And you tried to circumvent the whole thing yourself except that _I_ actually had already had it all handled. You saw quite clearly what happens when too many Time Travelers put their hands in. The universe tried to fall apart. River, the rules are there for a reason.”

“Well, you know me, Doctor, I’ve never liked playing by the rules.”

Sam and Dean watched the exchange with varying levels of drunkenness. They eyed each other and gave a shrug. As incomprehensible as it was in their current state, it didn’t even top the weirdness meter for them.

Whatever.

At the end of the day, Dean still killed Hitler.

There weren’t a lot of people he could brag about it to though, so he was going to milk it for all it was worth. He should call Cas, actually. He hadn’t told _him_ yet. Yeah, that was a good plan, he thought, as he continued to listen to a pair of Time Travelers bicker like an old married couple about who fucking knew what.  He was too drunk for science. He’d leave that to his brother.

He looked at Sam and snorted. Or not. Sam’s eyes had kinda glazed over as he stared at the two and _tried so desperately_ to understand what they were saying. Dean chortled to himself as he drunkenly fumbled for his phone. God, he hadn’t been quite this drunk in a while. Last time was, what, when he met Gunner Lawless?

The phone was ringing. When had he dialed? Huh, he really was a little more drunk than he’d thought. It clicked and answered and felt a warm ball of fuzzy settle in his chest when he heard the gravelly voice on the other end,

“Hello Dean.”

“Hey babe, I miss you, when you comin’ home man?” Instead of bragging about Hitler, he found other words, heartfelt ones he’d been keeping inside for so long, spilling out.

“Babe? Dean are you all right?”

“Yeah, Cas, I’m more than all right. Just…I miss you. I want you to come home. Got lots to tell you, like, tons of important stuff.”

“I’d love to come home Dean,” Castiel said after a short pause, “but I’m a little stuck right now. Can you tell me over the phone?”

“Nah man, telling you I love you for the first time? Really needs to be in person, y’know?” Dean giggled and snorted, missing the gasp on the other end of the phone, “though I guess I can tell you the other thing now. That wouldn’t spoil any surprises.” Dean paused for dramatic effect, “I…killed Hitler.”

“That’s…that’s, Dean…” Castiel was at a loss for words, his amazement and joy coming over the phone pretty clearly.

“Yeah, I know, right? Who all gets to say something like that? Looks like I stole someone’s thunder though and she ain’t too happy ‘bout it. But she’s not mad at me, she’s mad at the Doctor. Have you ever met the Doctor? He’s an alien Time Traveler with a magic box. It’s not a DeLorean, but it’s pretty cool.” Dean was oblivious to everything but Cas and the phone now.

“Dean, I’m coming home as soon as I can.”

“Oh, that’s great Cas! That makes me happy. Like, you don’t know how happy that makes me to hear. Better than pie kind of happy.  I can’t wait to tell you I love you.”

“Me neither, Dean. Why don’t you get some sleep. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

“Okay, babe. I will.”

Dean hung up the phone, still oblivious to everything around him as he smiled contentedly. He turned to find his brother staring at him with a stunned look on his face. Dean frowned.

“What’s the matter with you, Sammy? Did your head finally explode listening to them talking about Time Vortexes or something?”

“Um…nope, no, I’m good, we’re all good. Right guys? All good here.” Sam stumbled over his words in his rush to reassure his brother. He didn’t think Dean had realized what he’d done or said, and he didn’t want to jinx anything or pull his brother out of his good mood.

“Well then, good night. I’m going to bed. See you in the morning Sammy. As for you two…” he waggled his fingers between them, “I have no idea…” he blew out a breath instead. “Good night, see you tomorrow or next month or a few years from now, or whatever…till the next time.” He started walking out of the room only to pause by the Doctor and he leaned over to stage whisper in his ear, “By the way, I think you’re in the dog house. Better let her do whatever she wants if you want out.” He clapped the Time Lord on the shoulder and whistled on his way out as the Doctor blinked, Sam laughed and River manifested an evil little grin.

The Doctor swallowed. Dean was probably right, he thought. He looked at River.

He was going to regret this, wasn’t he?  



End file.
